


Affection

by whoneedsapublisher



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Adult Life, F/F, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:01:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28412079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whoneedsapublisher/pseuds/whoneedsapublisher
Summary: Nico struggled to accept affection at first. Lust was one thing, but love was quite another.
Relationships: Ayase Eli/Nishikino Maki/Toujou Nozomi/Yazawa Nico
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	Affection

It was funny, Nozomi reflected, just how much Nico had allowed herself to let go in the last few years.

Three years ago, Nico was _barely_ willing to tolerate affection that wasn’t aggressive. Oh, sure, she’d make out with Maki shamelessly when the two of them were alone, hands in each other’s hair and bodies pressed against each other as their tongues twisted and curled. But if Eli tried to hold her hand, she’d swat it away, grumbling about Eli being sappy. Hugs were the most gentle sign of love she’d allow, and even then if Nozomi was anything less than trapping her in an embrace Nico would squirm her way free after less than a minute. It was to the point where if the four of them wanted to cuddle, Eli and Nozomi would have to pin Nico down between them and wrap her up in their arms, restraining her as she complained about her “overbearing girlfriends”. Depending on her mood, Maki would either respond snidely, triggering more bickering, or say nothing at all, simply sliding into the tangle of arms and legs and curling up against the three of them happily, closing her ears to Nico’s whining.

Those were hard times for Nozomi, if she was being completely honest with herself. She still struggled with her self-esteem, and it was even worse back then. Some days, she even struggled to consider it a problem rather than just honest self-assessment, but Eli helped her with that. Still, Nico’s reticence to accept or display affection that wasn’t possessiveness towards her partners or sexual in nature hurt. Nozomi had been on the cusp of a breakdown more than once with the emotional turmoil of building this odd little polycule, and every time Nico turned up her nose at a held hand or a romantic gesture Nozomi’s anxieties screamed at her that it was because Nico wasn’t really in love with them. Or was only in love with Maki, or only in love with Eli, depending on the day and what specific rejection Nico had most recently doled out.

Nico wasn’t the only problem, of course. Nozomi worried herself sick about Eli and Maki’s relatively cool treatment of each other, constantly agonized over Maki’s moods, and even raked her own feelings over the coals, fearful that she was lying to herself and only accepted all three of her girlfriends because of the crisscrossing nature of their relationships. But Nico’s reluctance weighed the heaviest on her heart.

The turning point was one day in September, less than a year after the four of them had gotten together. Maki was busy with her studies and was spending all of her time in the university library, even sleeping there at night sometimes as she drifted off with her head in a book. Nozomi, meanwhile, was in Osaka, visiting relatives. She’d been anxious about that choice too, but Eli had convinced her that things wouldn’t fall apart without her for a few days.

According the Eli, after the second day of just the two of them in the house, Nico had come into her room in the dead of night. The four of them lived together, and spent no shortage of time in the same bed, but for practical reasons they had a three bedroom apartment that fit their needs. There weren’t a lot of one bedroom apartments with enough room for four people, after all. Eli and Nozomi shared the largest, central room, with a bed big enough for the four of them, and Nico and Maki had their own rooms. Maki rarely slept in her room, but she still clearly liked having her own personal space. Nico, meanwhile, spent plenty of nights in her own bed, although not always alone.

That night, though, Nico had left her bedroom and come into the room Eli was in, looking miserable.

“What’s wrong, Nico?” Eli had asked.

“...I miss Maki and Nozomi,” Nico had mumbled, and according to Eli, she looked like she hated admitting it as much as she hated feeling it.

Even more shockingly, she’d slid into bed next to Eli and clung to her, letting Eli hold her close and gently stroke her hair as she buried her head in her chest. It was exactly the kind of “sappy” cuddling that she would normally vocally object to.

From then, it was as if an invisible barrier had been removed. Nico still grumbled, still hated PDA, and still avoided too many overtly romantic gestures, but she increasingly would tolerate hugs and hand holding. Sometimes she would even bait the others into showing her affection, sidling up to them when they were hugging and conspicuously not saying anything until they pulled her in along with them, or conspicuously flopping her hand down next to Nozomi when she sat on the couch with her.

Now, though, it was hard to believe that Nico had ever been like that.

“Nozomiiii,” Nico said, pressing her head up against Nozomi’s side.

“Okay, okay,” Nozomi said, shifting her book to one hand so that she could pat Nico on the head.

“You’re so ridiculous,” Maki said, rolling her eyes.

“Ridiculously cute, maybe,” Nico shot back, sticking her tongue out at Maki.

“Don’t fight, you two,” Eli said. “There’s enough room on my lap for both of you.”

“There better be,” Nico said. “Because I’m not moving.”

Maki rolled her eyes again and slid onto Eli’s lap, throwing her legs over Nico as she leaned back against Eli’s shoulder. Nico’s hands immediately went down from Eli’s arm across her chest to Maki’s knees, stroking her legs almost subconsciously as she turned to Nozomi again.

“So what are we watching tonight, then?”

“I thought it was your day to pick,” Eli said.

“Nico is magnanimously giving up her one day of introducing actual _culture_ to this household to let Nozomi watch her soap opera’s finale,” Nico said.

“Oh, why thank you, Niccochi,” Nozomi said. “But I was thinking I might just watch a documentary today, if you’re letting me pick.”

“What?!” Nico said. “But what about Kaoru’s long lost twin?!”

“Oh my,” Nozomi said. “I didn’t know you were so invested.”

Nico hadn’t magically changed everything about herself over the years. None of them had. But in little ways, or even big ways, they’d all become more comfortable with each other. More honest with each other. And as Nozomi set aside her book and turned on the TV, with Nico instantly focusing on the screen intently in anticipation, the four of them snuggled together on the couch, Nozomi felt a deep contentment seep down to her bones.


End file.
